Rant

Im not asking for much
But you wouldnt think such
With the way you act
Hiding behind your false fact
All I see are lies lies lies
And the cracks in your alibis
Seems you are pushing my away
You might ask "Why does he stay?"
I promised I'll never leave you
And help you see things through
So here I'll be
Asking "What do you want from me?"
Anything it is you can have
Just ignore me when i'm mad
Im just having one of my turns
When my inside burns
Its probably just my jealousy
So i scorn you with heresy
For this Im sorry
And you need not worry
Im just meek not bold
And this lifestyle is getting old
They say the meek shall inherit
But this isnt apparent
All my life
Its been strife strife strife
When will this page turn
I still have much to learn
Is there salvation in the trigger of a gun
Too many times that has been done
People say I tried I tried I tried
But the answer isnt in suicide
I look in the eyes of a baby girl
It erases all blue from my world
In this new world I am lost
What has my decadence cost
I walk this desert wasteland alone
No one to hear me cry or moan
Will someone wake me from this nightmare or dream
Because too far Ive fallen it seem
Is the answer in the bottle
Or in the local brothel
What to do Where to go
My true emotions show
Naked I stand in front of you
Broken down black and blue
I cant hear her choice
But i hear doubt in her voice
You arent the first its happened before
Returning to the cold like a tile floor
Arise like a phoenix from the ashes
Its ok....I can take the pain from the lashes
Cant feel anymore Ive become numb
One day I'll have the energy to leave this slum
Time to open the gate
Time to see my fate
Hoping its you i see
Im greeted with a reflection of me
It chills me to the bone
But accept forever I'll walk alone
Always stuck as a friend
Never any womans man
But I know how to deal
And these wounds will heal
Dont know how or when
But I'll be back to myself again
Always thinking what could have been
But atleast I have you with me as a friend
So throw me away
Or save me for another day
Do what ever you care
Just watch for the wear and tear
Dont try to take my hand
Your touch I can no longer stand
You had your chance
How could you be so dense
I gave you my heart
You tore it apart
How can you do this to me
Why didnt you I see
You crushed me Im going insane
If love is blind I'll buy myself a cane
Cant find myself around
Cant pick myself of the ground
When you left nothing was here
Cried so much cried my last tear
Will you please return to me
And tell me we are meant to be
Time passes and things change
In my mind events become rearrange
Its all your fault not mine
Thats how i see it in my mind
Is this how it happened is it true
Doesnt matter your the only one that knew
When im in bed
Memories of you fill my head
Memories I wish i never had
Wish theyll go away like my dad
Eventually I'll forget
And my words I'll regret
But not anytime soon
Is the salvation past the next dune
When will I be happy again
Like in the past Ive been
Is it with this new girl I see
I think she belongs with someone else not me
I dont deserve her
My mind is battered and tortured
Dont say this isnt true
Or its me not you
I'll never cause you any harm
And without you I'll buy the farm
At night I cry from the pain
But no one sees it when you walk in the rain
Ive come to the crossroads
Do I have the courage to hit the switch and change modes
I come back as a new me
But the old one you still see
So all I do is deceive
I become your biggest pet peeve
I have the opportunity to be free
But the cost is too high of a fee
So I remain trapped in this chain
I put the knife to the vein
Life goes from bad to worse
Feels like Im beating a dead horse
I yell yell yell
Save me from this hell